What is so bad about COM is they offer only one POV about gay people. Their experience is not the norm. I was married to a gay man for over thirty years who is the kindest, most loving person I know. There’s nothing evil about him. We stayed married for three decades because we believed in the lies propagated by groups like Coming Out Ministries.
Another group he attended seminars with was called “People Can Change,” but therein is the lie—people can hide their attractions, they can white knuckle it, they can change their behaviors, and they can act straight, but they can’t change their orientation any more than they can change their eye color.
Just substitute eye color for sexual orientation. If this school was holding a week of prayer for kids to learn how to pray for a different eye color, we’d think it was ridiculous. That’s the problem with all pray away the gay ministries.
And in our grown up discussions, we need to differentiate between practicing promiscuity and those who are faithful to their partners—just as we do with straight people.
We also need to acknowledge that being LGBTQ is much more than one’s sex life—we all have an orientation (yes, straight people do too) and that orientation is a huge part of who we are.
I’ve had a front row seat to one man’s pain due to denying who he is as he tried to be good enough—all due to the shame heaped on him by the church’s teachings which treat LGBTQ people as the lowest caste in Adventism.
And yes, many do feel like suicide—that loss of self eventually catches up to people. Fortunately my ex is still alive and I thank a Methodist pastor who treated him like Jesus does when our Adventist pastors failed.
Be very careful what you say when you are not one of the marginalized. We straight people can afford the luxury of COM’s fantasy about gays getting straight—but millions testify differently. It’s fine if in Carducci’s journey he had changed his perceptions and behaviors—I can respect that, but to teach it as the only path and most spiritual walk for everyone is very abusive and diabolical.
Let each be persuaded in their own mind.
Do not judge, or you will be judged.