BRI: 'Mixed Persuasion' GYC / One Project Couples Unequally Yoked, Cannot Marry

(Spectrumbot) #1

SILVER SPRING - After more than two years of prayerful study, theologians at the Biblical Research Institute have ruled that Generation of Youth for Christ devotees and The One Project enthusiasts cannot wed across movement lines.

"For the first time in Adventism we are witnessing competing interpretations of our faith that are significant enough to cause division in marriage," said BRI Spokesperson, Ronaldo Treijer. "A romantic relationship where one party is a faithful GYC conference participant and the other of unfortunate One Project persuasion, is doomed. The two are unequally yoked and therefore biblically unfit to marry."

Treijer explained that, although both technically Adventist, the two camps are seriously at odds with each other. "Listen, we can't have bearded, happy-clappy, pro-Women's Ordination demagogues getting their grubby hands on sincere, clean-hearted GYC Proverbs 31 women," he said.

"I will admit to never having cleared my schedule in order to sit cross-legged around a bongo drum with a bunch of disenchanted One Project earth lovers but I have heard enough never to let my children date their people," he said.

Treijer laments the fact that the BRI cannot, as yet, write a binding policy on the matter of 'mixed persuasion' Adventist marriages. However, as a step in the right direction, it has submitted 'clarifying language' articulating a GYC/One Project marriage ban on which this summer's GC San Antonio delegates will be invited to vote.

"Although The One Project is clearly hell-bent on causing division in the Adventist Church by questioning our leadership and promoting a watered-down social justice gospel of Kumbaya ecumenism, we have yet to pin them on something big enough to warrant expulsion," admitted Treijer. "Until that day comes the least we can do is keep the sheep and the goats segregated."

Sevvy is a writer at the anonymously-authored humor and satire blog

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at

(k_Lutz) #3

This is loooooong overdue!

I am reminded of the Purity Wars between the Israelites and the Judahites after split of Kingdom in which the young men of both principalities were sent to kill each other off. It was quite successful in reducing the populations of both camps until the survivors in those skirmishes recognised that they could not be condemned for marrying the daughters of their kin and took them back home with them to strengthen the Fortner pool.

Perhaps Brother Treijer can design a scarf or ribbon that the GYC adherents and supporters could wear to indicate their desirability. Would it not be a grand sight in San Antonio to see the stage filled with those august leaders with their yellow armbands declaring to the world their election as God’s chosen vessels!


Trust the Process.

(Kim Green) #4

So glad that this is finally being addressed! If couples from the different “camps” are not stopped from matrimony just think about the potential damage such unions would have upon their off-spring…horrendous!! How would they handle separating the family to attend the various meetings? What if the children decide to go “mainstream”?? So many questions and so little answers…POOR children!!! :wink:

(Thomas J Zwemer) #5

so this is what eight generations of inbreeding will produce? Tom Z

(Kim Green) #6

lol…sadly so, Tom…lol

(Sevvy) #7

Luckily the One Project hipsters already look so disheveled that GC crowd control will have no problem directing them to their assigned San Antonio nosebleed section…

(Sevvy) #8

Ummm… If you are only 8th generation you might want to go find that drum circle…:slight_smile:

(Thomas J Zwemer) #9

Chritianity is built upon two pillars 1. Creation 2. the Cross Rev 4 and 5 express the essentials of worship on the basis of these two gifts. Let God do the labeling not man. Adventism is so focused upon creation it has convinced its self that it can return to the created state of mind to facilitate the return of Jesus. The fish or cut bait of Rev 14 is not based upon man’s attainment but on the validity of Christ’s. Will a remnant of mankind insist on the worship of a Creator/Redeemer God or will it choose another? This issue from the beginning to its end has been the same --Christ or a surigate? LGT/GYC are based upon a surigate, The One Project purports to be a post modern expression for Christ. Yet its fruits are yet to be seen. It smacks of enthusiasm and doctrinal freedom. Tom Z

(Thomas J Zwemer) #10

I am of the 5th generation. I was addressing not barelyadventist but GYC and the One Project. I am four square Christianity as defined by Paul, and brought up to date by John R. W. Stott. I think you have a keen sense of humor over a tragic history that keeps reproducing itself. Tom Z. P.S. I am of the Tom Mix generation.

(Steve Mga) #11

Yesterday at Synagogue the Rabbi quoted John Stott in his homily.
Apparently he has a very wide following.
Tom, too bad you are not of the Lone Ranger generation.
We sometimes sing the closing song at Synagogue to the Lone Ranger Theme music. You would enjoy that, but you would have to mouth the words FAST!

(Thomas J Zwemer) #12

The Wm Tell piece was my down fall in the academy orchestra. I know several who could keep pace with the Rosary. Do you remember the episode of the alone Ranger that had a sunset ultimatum so The Lone Ranger rode Silver to the top of the mountain and got another hour of day light. I guess that is where the mountain top experience came from. Tom Z

(Chris Blake24) #14

Good writing, funny commentary, spot-on satire. Thanks.

PS: Did you hear about the vegan and the ovo-lacto vegetarian who were unequally yoked?
PPS: They scrambled to stay together for the sake of their children, Overeasy and Sunnyside.
PPPS: Until discovering it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, Overeasy was a charismatic prone to eggstatic experiences.

(Brad(Luna)) #15

The funny thing is I could see some conservative Adventists arguing in favor of the two not marrying! After all the One crowd are on the way to apostasy and Babylon.