Perhaps you need to explore – What kind of a God do I want?
Perhaps you might want to join an AA or NA group or groups. Meet your Higher Power first.
I would recommend reading one of the best books I know on Higher Power relationship.
Richard Rohr – Breathing Under Water… Only 128 pages.
The Serenity Prayer encourages one to "accept things I cannot change, be courageous to change the things I can, asking for Wisdom to know the difference."
Galatians 5 says our Higher Power wants to give us Love - affection for others, Kindness - a sense of compassion in the heart, Joy - exuberance about life, Peace - serenity, Patience - a willingness to stick with things, Goodness - a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and others, Faithfulness - involved in loyal commitments, Gentleness - no needing to force my way in life, Self-control - able to marshal and direct my energies wisely [from Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, pg 20].
Both the Old and New T’s are basically this – Love God, Love Self, Love Others, Serve.
It is NOT about 28 FB’s. It is ONLY about GRACE and RELATIONSHIP.
It is Beyond Religion.
Parents can understand GRACE. Even if one’s child has behavior problems, the child [many times Adult child] is still theirs. the person is continued to be loved and part of the family.
We are, by creation, a child of the Creator. GRACE is God’s punishment for us when we get into un-Healthy activities that harm ourselves, or harm others. He says, Start over, Begin again, read directions, and then put the pieces together again.
God’s punishment is a Hug and a Kiss, and wrapping His arms around [as a hen with chicks] us.
If you can PRINT off the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi. Post it on your refrigerator so you can say it when nearby.
Make up your OWN Lord’s Prayer – My Father in heaven. Let me treat your name with honor and reverence. Let your kingdom come into my heart, and let your will be done in my life as it is done in heaven. Give me this day. Give me the food I need for today. Forgive me the wrongs I have done as I forgive the wrongs others have done to me. Don’t let me yield to Temptation. Rescue me from the Evil One. For yours is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory for ever. Amen.
Romans 8:26,27-- We don’t know what to pray for, or should pray for, but the H.S. Himself prays for us, presenting our Unspoken requests. God knows what is earnestly being asked because the Spirit pleads for what is in harmony with God’s will for us.
*** How does God remove? Sin is a sign that something is missing in our life. All sin is an attempt to fill a void. Only when we know what we are looking for – and pursue it instead – will other people’s admonition to us work. – Joan Chittister, God;s Tender Mercy, pg 29.
**** Love God *** Love Self *** Love Others *** Serve. THIS is Relationship – NOT Religion.
What we have been TAUGHT is God’s Judgment Seat is REALLY God’s MERCY SEAT.
The place where God restores us to Health. [rohr, pg 47].