God Bless Moms

(Spectrumbot) #1

God Bless Moms

A Mother’s Day Poem

By Jared Wright

With appreciation to my mom

This day is for the special people who help to raise us all

Who clean our peanut butter off the floor and spaghetti off the wall

The ones who kiss our ouches and who help to fix our oopsies

The ones who change our diapers when we load them up with poopsies

The ones who hug away our fears and help calm our anxieties

Today is for those special people who come in all varieties

God bless the women

Whose labor gives us life

God bless those who can’t conceive

Who for years and years have tried

God bless those who adopt a child

And become moms that way

God bless those who can’t keep their babies

Who’ve had to give a child away

God bless the aunts and grandmas

Who do the work that mothers do

God bless single fathers

Who serve as mothers too

God bless those who have lost a child

Who mark this day by grieving

And God bless those who’ve lost their moms

Who mourn a parent's leaving

God bless the single mothers

Whose work is twice as much

God bless those who choose not to have kids

But who help raise children despite not being moms as such

Our heartfelt thanks to all these special people

Whose lives are love defined

God’s best blessing today on all of them

These moms of many kinds

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at http://spectrummagazine.org/node/6805

(Elmer Cupino) #2

With all these attributes, can someone convince me why the GC is struggling over why “moms” cannot be ordained ministers in the SDA church? Is it because it would be a demotion on their responsibilities and reflect poorly on their CV?

(jeremy) #3

i wouldn’t worry about it, elmer…women’s ordination is going to pass in san antonio…

(Thomas J Zwemer) #4

I have an older brother. He and his wife adopted six children. She when to an early grave because of undetected cancer. those children are now grandparents. this poem brought floods of memories. thank you. Tom Z

(Kevin Paulson) #5

This is my second Mother’s Day without my dear mother, who passed away last year at the age of 89—three weeks shy of her 90th birthday on May 1. Losing a parent is always hard. I regret those Mother’s Days when I forgot to call or send her a card! Thankfully in the final decades of her life, I was careful to remember.

(Cfowler) #6

I miss my Mama…she was the best! I only wish we could have had many more years together than we had.

(le vieux) #7

You would have to spoil an otherwise beautiful Mothers’ Day by bringing in a divisive element. Can’t we just stick to appreciating our mothers?

I talked to my mom today. She’ll be 84 before the month is out, and is doing well. And (SHOCK! SHOCK!) my son called (a rare occurrence) to talk to my wife (who also happens to be his mother).

(Elmer Cupino) #8

Great! I took my mom out to Moe’s SW Grill today after rounds, compliments of my wife who asked to be excused and stay at home so my mom gets my full attention… She dressed her well and off we went. Perfect day for me and my 88 yo mom. Glad you had a great day too. What a blessing from God. I tell my mom frequently “very few get the gift of long life. Cherish it.”

(Bille) #9

Good question… but I think there is something a little more complex going on rather than the one you give… I’ll suggest that…

It has to do with the “seasons of life”. For between the “season” when Mom does all the functions that Jared included here…

… and this one that you and others point to…

… there is a “season” when Mom’s are peers… the “kids” don’t need the kind of “mothering” that they once did… nor do the Mom’s need the care-taking that the grown “kids” (and “grand-kids”) give.

But some “kids” just don’t feel comfortable with "Mom’s as peers… for a variety of reasons…

What do you think? Does this shed any light on your question about ordaining women as Ministers of the Gospel?

(Cherry) #10

Well done Jared!! I have greatly missed Pastor Jared’s poetry corner!!!

(Elaine Nelson) #11

The old, tired reason that moms have a special duty and cannot be ordained because they would neglect their man-ordered duties. Never mind that children grow up and leave the home and mothers have wonderful experiences that the church needs to hear from a mother’s viewpoint and voice.

(Elmer Cupino) #12

Very insightful Bille. I’m sure the beginnings of this “pathology” is embedded within the developmental stages and becomes rigid when fostered by societal, family and religious culture. Similar to dropping marbles in a half filled glass. The last marble is always blamed when the glass overflows, ignoring the fact that each marble contributed to the rise of its level. And until the individual has participated in a number of therapeutic sessions to understand his life, we can only generalized the dynamics. In this case, @GeorgeTichy has it on the mark. Individuals who struggle with maternal issues are deficient in their sense of self and needs control to solidify and glue their ego functions.

(Carrol Grady`) #13

I think you covered the gamut very well, Jared. Do you think your understanding of mothers has developed a bit more fully as you’ve watched your wife mother your precious little boy? Mothers are also the ones who most often teach and pass on values and spiritual lessons, although fathers have that opportunity, too. I have come to believe that unconditional love is the most important quality mothers can manifest.

(Mercy triumphs over judgment. James 2:13) #14

Anne Lamott

I did not raise my son, Sam, to celebrate Mother’s Day. I didn’t want him to feel some obligation to buy me pricey lunches or flowers, some annual display of gratitude that you have to grit your teeth and endure. Perhaps Mother’s Day will come to mean something to me as I grow even dottier in my dotage, and I will find myself bitter and distressed when Sam dutifully ignores the holiday. Then he will feel ambushed by my expectations, and he will retaliate by putting me away even sooner than he was planning to — which, come to think of it, would be even more reason to hate Mother’s Day. But Mother’s Day celebrates a huge lie about the value of women: that mothers are superior beings, that they have done more with their lives and chosen a more difficult path. Ha! Every woman’s path is difficult, and many mothers were as equipped to raise children as wire monkey mothers. I say that without judgment: It is, sadly, true. An unhealthy mother’s love is withering.

The illusion is that mothers are automatically happier, more fulfilled and complete. But the craziest, grimmest people this Sunday will be the mothers themselves, stuck herding their own mothers and weeping children and husbands’ mothers into seats at restaurants. These mothers do not want a box of chocolate. These mothers are on a diet.

I hate the way the holiday makes all non-mothers, and the daughters of dead mothers, and the mothers of dead or severely damaged children, feel the deepest kind of grief and failure. The non-mothers must sit in their churches, temples, mosques, recovery rooms and pretend to feel good about the day while they are excluded from a holiday that benefits no one but Hallmark and See’s. There is no refuge — not at the horse races, movies, malls, museums. Even the turn-off-your-cellphone announcer is going to open by saying, “Happy Mother’s Day!” You could always hide in a nice seedy bar, I suppose. Or an ER.

It should go without saying that I also hate Valentine’s Day.

Mothering has been the richest experience of my life, but I am still opposed to Mother’s Day. It perpetuates the dangerous idea that all parents are somehow superior to non-parents. (Meanwhile, we know the worst, skeeviest, most evil people in the world are CEOs and politicians who are proud parents.)

Don’t get me wrong: There were times I could have literally died of love for my son, and I’ve felt stoned on his rich, desperate love for me. But I bristle at the whispered lie that you can know this level of love and self-sacrifice only if you are a parent. We talk about “loving one’s child” as if a child were a mystical unicorn. Ninety-eight percent of American parents secretly feel that if you have not had and raised a child, your capacity for love is somehow diminished. Ninety-eight percent of American parents secretly believe that non-parents cannot possibly know what it is to love unconditionally, to be selfless, to put yourself at risk for the gravest loss. But in my experience, it’s parents who are prone to exhibit terrible self-satisfaction and selfishness, who can raise children as adjuncts, like rooms added on in a remodel. Their children’s value and achievements in the world are reflected glory, necessary for these parents’ self-esteem, and sometimes, for the family’s survival. This is how children’s souls are destroyed.

But my main gripe about Mother’s Day is that it feels incomplete and imprecise. The main thing that ever helped mothers was other people mothering them; a chain of mothering that keeps the whole shebang afloat. I am the woman I grew to be partly in spite of my mother, and partly because of the extraordinary love of her best friends, and my own best friends’ mothers, and from surrogates, many of whom were not women at all but gay men. I have loved them my entire life, even after their passing.

No one is more sentimentalized in America than mothers on Mother’s Day, but no one is more often blamed for the culture’s bad people and behavior. You want to give me chocolate and flowers? That would be great. I love them both. I just don’t want them out of guilt, and I don’t want them if you’re not going to give them to all the people who helped mother our children. But if you are going to include everyone, then make mine something like M&M’s, and maybe flowers you picked yourself, even from my own garden, the cut stems wrapped in wet paper towels, then tin foil and a waxed-paper bag from my kitchen drawers. I don’t want something special. I want something beautifully plain. Like everything else, it can fill me only if it is ordinary and available to all.


(Elaine Nelson) #15

I was very happy when my son brought me a beautiful bouquet, and a lovely card telling me that I am his best friend. We have always been close, like many of the same books and personalities. He often gives me books for holiday and birthday gifts and know just what I enjoy reading.

He has always been so dependable when I need a ride to the hospital or dental surgery, etc. I am blessed by all my family but he is the only one in town currently.

(Andrew) #16

In the UK, Mother’s Day is officially called Mothering Sunday. It was originally a term used for the parishioners to come back to their Mother church.