Hackers Plan to Auction Off Control of GC Session Voting Devices

(Spectrumbot) #1

Originally billed as a way to increase efficiency and voter anonymity, this summer's General Conference Session in San Antonio was to mark the first time that all delegate voting would take place electronically. However, this week a group of renegade Adventist hackers announced plans to rig the new voting technology.

"The rules are simple. Outbid your competition and we'll ensure the vote goes your way," said an anonymously-authored message from the collective called Hackventist. "The 'votes' will be tallied instantly and your desired results will be displayed in a bar chart on a screen."

While no official response has yet come from the GC, sources close to the discussions claim that the hacker threat has produced two main camps of thought on how to proceed:

One camp supports reverting to the antiquated card counting system despite historical complaints that holding up and then tallying yellow delegate cards is slow and increases pressure on candidates to vote the same as their local leaders. The other side, led by Oregon Conference officials who swear by the electronic voting system that they already use, favors ignoring Hackventist's threats.

"Either way, there is now a cloud of doubt hovering over GC voting on the election of officials and other important agenda items," lamented GC Undersecretary Bill Fix who had led the charge to arm San Antonio's nearly 2,600 delegates with the new technology.

Sources say that a "third way" has been proposed by senior GC officials: Due to the fragility of any man-made voting technology, GC leaders of VP status or above have volunteered to serve in their positions another term. Given the complexity of the voting complications, the officials are unanimous in their willingness to shoulder the responsibility of appointing leaders for lesser roles while making the call on tough voting issues such as Women's Ordination.

Sevvy is a writer at the anonymously-authored humor and satire blog BarelyAdventist.com.

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at http://spectrummagazine.org/node/6616

(k_Lutz) #2

My vote is for hanging chads.

Trust the Process.

(George Tichy) #3

So, when the incumbent candidate is defeated by the challenger it will all be blamed on the hackers? :smile:

@rohantocharles Charles, please increase the order of black whoppers at Burger King. Now we have to include the hackers to the list!..

(Thomas J Zwemer) #4

if so there will be grave consequences. Tom Z

(Sevvy) #5

If all works according to plan we will just be able to scrap elections and Third Way it from here on out:)

(Pagophilus) #6

I think you need to stop these satirical postings.

  1. They are passed off as regular news, diminishing the value of the rest of the website.

  2. They’re not even funny. You’re trying too hard.

(George Tichy) #7

So far so good, plan being executed “perfectly”… :slight_smile:

(George Tichy) #8

Pago, I admire your seriousness and lack of sense of humor…

(Richard Ludders) #9

There is a new definition in the latest dictionary. Conservative = lack of a sense of humor :smile:

(George Tichy) #10

A parakeet just made a meaningful revelation, telling me that saints in general don’t laugh…
I was relieved though that he didn’t say “all saints,” because I know that at least St George, St Elmer @elmer_cupino , St Hopeful @hopeful and a few more usually laugh good. Even St Allen @ajshep does it at times… :slight_smile:

(Robert Sonter) #11

Come on pago, you should know by now that anything published under the name “Sevvy” is a satirical blog. I recognize them by the headline, but still check the author to be sure.

Really, is there any possibility that the headline “Hackers Plan to Auction Off Control of GC Session Voting Devices” could be real? Or has Walter Veith recently started preaching that the last great move against the SDA Church will be a cyber attack on the decision-making processes of the church, at a GC Session, the highest authority of God on earth??? This would be an “Amazing Discovery” indeed…

@GeorgeTichy @kennlutz @ludders @tjzwemer @barelyadventist @elmer_cupino @TonyR @rohantocharles

(Robert Sonter) #12

George, do your senior parakeets have a discourse tag? It would be great to start conversing with them directly :slight_smile: @parakeets

(Thomas J Zwemer) #13

This time it may not be a joke-

  1. the delegates may have their own agenda this time.
  2. The delegates may agree with Ted. That certainly would be no joke.

Tom Z

(Thomas J Zwemer) #14

here is no joke.,Hackers have gained access to Bkue Cross of Georgia. the fiscal Investigative Judgment has just begun. The mark of the beast had struck again. He has got my social security number. I have insurance to protect against invasion, hope it works. I’m glad my Social Security is in a lock Box. Tom Z


Hey! I kinda like Walter Veith lol. Dont accept everything he says, but enjoy listening to him.

(Robert Sonter) #16


I have to admit, he has an easy and relaxed conversational style of presentation that I do find easy to listen to. And when he’s talking about things that are within his field of expertise, I find him quite fascinating. Unfortunately he sometimes seems to depart into fanciful theories about things of which he actually has little knowledge, and therein lies the danger if you take him too seriously…

(Virginia Coombs) #17

Why not use the Urim and Thummin? There will be a High Priest at the convention.

(Peter) #18

Get a grip, Pago. Even Ellen White had a sense of humor - which you seem to lack.


Indeed, I couldnt agree more. His 2 part series on Bible translations caused me terrible frustration :smile:

Earlier on in my faith knowing literally nothing, and only reading the KJV bible would do my head in. And then I found out about how part of the NT was written in Koine Greek and I wanted to throw my Bible in the bin! I would ask myself how on earth did God manage to have His word written in the everyday common, marketplace language, for Christians back then, with harsh persecution, but today His not able to? I was very upset lol.

But thankfully I found a non SdA who did a great work on Bible translations, who pulled me away from all that unprovable conspiracy theorizing. Now I’m glad to say my favorite Bible (atm) is the ESV, and the Good News Bible for a more loose translation. Though I do like to use the NKJV at times too.



One of the most odd and weird experiences in my Christian walk happened. I have no idea how I got myself sucked into commenting on a difficult topic over at ADvindicate. I hardly ever blog there, maybe once every few weeks if that. Was on the issue…now bear with me; if certain “toys” are permissible in the bedroom between husband and wife. Which got a little heated towards the end; I seemed to have touched a nerve, and called out someone for having double standards (the writer of the article).

Now here’s the funny part, just occurred now. Someone (I’ll give you his name in a second), after my last reply, and seeing that things got a little serious tried to lighten up the mood and ease the situation down. His name is George lol, and I’ve read his comments before, his quite knowledgeable and is pro WO I believe too. He ended his comment with:

BTW, I think the discussion between Tony and (female name) demonstrate why we need both male and female elders

You have an alter ego over at ADvindicate George ROFL!!!