Misogyny Hurts Men Too


When we talk about the detrimental results of sexist practices and beliefs, we primarily focus on the ways girls and women are affected. And it’s true that women bear the brunt: being subjected to unfair dress standards, micro-aggressive remarks, mental oppression, lack of opportunities, or even sexual and physical abuse. What’s not acknowledged as readily is how misogyny damages boys and men.

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at http://spectrummagazine.org/node/11877
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Totally agree! One could say that men are trained to be aggressors from a very young age. It seems most grow out of it in this day and age or have been raised different than in the past. I grew up in that age but due to my mother and observing the male attitude of my father and the men in his family, I rejected the idea of superiority. But I was a bit of a rebel. Headship ideas made no sense to me as I have seen and worked with women most of my life, in superior positions!


Sad and true. Not funny about how there are some SDA leadership who have put forth reasons that they think the gospel commission is not advancing when they themselves have slowed it by cherishing the exalted status above women that male headship gives. It is divisive, a burdenous tradition of man and harms people from all walks of life.

Man was made on the sixth day. Are some Seventh Day Adventist in profession but sixth day Adventist in beliefs?

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this whole issue of misogyny and headship is a difficult one…it’s not only some men who think in terms of male headship…many women do, too, and don’t want it any other way…

No, not a difficult one, just difficult for some men to give up! If they did, their female followers would most likely do the same.


i’m not so sure…i see many church women who like the idea of a “strong” man in charge…they want to be stay at home moms and home makers…they don’t want to have to go out into the big bad world and earn a living in a competitive setting…

‘i’m not so sure…i see many church women who like the idea of a “strong” man in charge’

The people who relish the headship arrangement have the freedom to make that choice for themselves and family but they should not push it as a standard onto others.


Wanna know what else hurts men?


agreed…a yes vote in san antonio would have enabled all, headship advocates and WO supporters, to do as they see fit…flexibility is the best way, when it comes to questions that the bible doesn’t answer definitively…

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Your ideas do not mesh. Strong man=women don’t have to work.

“Strong man” has multiple definitions and not all men make enough money that their wives don’t have to work. Sometimes “strong man” only means brute strength and the possibility of abuse.


What do these verses mean?

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Ephesians 5:22-25 -

Ignoring a biblical truth because it has been abused is not the way to rectify the error. Correctly applying the truth is the answer. However, so many reject any role distinction between men and women because they don’t want to be lumped in with those who have abused the teaching. And therefore they ignore the biblical truth instead of teaching it’s correct application.

Men and women have different roles, though we are equal. And if the man loves the wife as Jesus loves us, he will never abuse the role he’s been given.

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Yoyito, do you think you’re maybe conflating husband headship with male headship…does the defined relationship between husbands and wives in the bible indicate to you an imperative between unmarried men and women…are you aware that egw offers reasoning for the headship of husbands over wives that doesn’t apply to men and women outside a marriage…

i find this conflation between husband and male headship quite characteristic in the headship argument…


I found a brief E-book by Gerry Chudleigh that gives the background of the “headship movement” and how it got into the SDA Church from other groups and following speakers like Bill Gothard. I recommend this be reprinted here. We never heard of this term until the late1970s and 80s. I remember its beginnings while working at an evangelical nonprofit. Bohr is a leader in this movement in the SDA church.


This term about different roles is from the movement as used outside the SDA church.


it’s interesting that conservatives would be the ones bringing “the world” into the church…


That’s true. The husband headship stays within the boundaries of marriage and is expressed according to the agreement of that individual family.
Male headship exceeds the boundaries beyond the scripture based family order and attempts to apply the order to everyone. It gives everyone a place under the new headship order.
So then single women are in limbo waiting for their servant assignment, or they are to be working in the background to the glory of the male headship institution and the ones dependent on care are still denied the full dignity of their worth as an individual in Christ.

I don’t think I’m conflating the two…the author mentions the above and goes and this clearly relates to the marriage relationship. They go on to say how “headship” theology results in violence and in the context of the quote above, the author argues against headship theology both in and out of the home.

And let’s be real, those who oppose headship theology don’t support it in the home and oppose it outside. There may be some, but the vast majority that I have encountered oppose it both in marriage and outside.

I know I’m not the head of my female neighbors. Lol but my point is that God created separate family functions for men and women and there’s nothing unequal about that! EGW states that the mother who is raising her kids at home is doing a work higher than a king in his throne or a pastor at the pulpit. It is we as a society that have denigrated the role of stay at home moms as being oppressed or less than. It is an extremely important role for all eternity will bear witness to the results of that “sacrifice”.

Again, the abuses that have taken place should be corrected but that does not mean that the Bible doesn’t teach different roles for men and women in the home. And yes that includes the man being the head of the home. The author goes on to say that pressuring men to be protective or leaders in the home put an undue burden can lead to them feeling inadequate. But I would argue that society has never had more irresponsible men in the home than now. Men leave their children and their wives way too easily and we need more responsible men. Teaching young boys or men to be True Jesus-like heads in the home is a great thing. And teaching young girls the high honor they have and to respect themselves and their husbands is also needed and biblical.

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I hear this from time to time and I respond and ask, “Where did God do that in the bible?” I ask because
I have no idea where to find it.

I don’t think I’ve ever received an answer back that was supportable.

So I’ll ask again, where in the bible is the communication of separate family functions for men and women created by God found?


I’ve seen diversity of choices respected in church with families and individuals having varying preferences and values. I’ve seen a family where the wife ( a fair skinned Caucasian) was dressed in full pastel colored veil and ancient Israelite wear worshipping in the same church with women who had short styled hair and pants suits. ( I mention the woman being Caucasian to differentiate from a woman who is from a locale where wearing veils and robes is common. Several other aspects of this woman’s dress, behavior and family indicated that it was a family who practiced male headship)

The problems occur when those who subscribe to male headship aren’t satisfied with that people respect their decision for their family, they want recognition and honor beyond the family boundaries. Headship pride.

Also there are problems when people are told that they are sinning and rebellious by not accepting male headship theology.

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