Monday Meditation: Flamy Grant & Chris Blake

In this sermon from August 14, Chris Blake, pastor of the San Luis Obispo 



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As a gay Adventist, what Flamy Grant shares in her talk captures the essence of how I feel. Once I came out, I went from a poster boy for the Adventist church to an outcast. Nothing had changed in me other than I shared a part of me that no one had known about, but something that had been a part of me for most all of my life. So many gay Adventists grow up trying to be the best they can as a way of overcompensating for what may lie ahead. And usually, sure enough, the outcome is the same. Before any of us leaves the church, they church has long ago left us. Because they don’t know what to do with this new piece of info. They don’t know how to merge a spirituality and a sexuality that they don’t understand and doesn’t fit nicely inside the box they created for that person.
I am still of the church and in the church, but I don’t know how long I can be “in” the church before I give in to the pushing away that the church does. Sometimes it is unintentional or unperceived, but it is there. I’ve found that life has so many wonderful things that are outside of the SDA box we build in Sabbath School… from Cradle Roll onward. Our family of choice more and more becomes the family that sustains us. Our DNA family too often turns its back on us. Our church family avoids things they don’t have an easy answer to. So yes, Flamy, if you decide to leave the church to protect your safety, you are making the right choice. If you decide to ride it out and stay in the church and be an ambassador for change, that is the right choice for you. Knowing that one size does not fit all is the first step towards healing and creating a safe space for you. If you need to talk more and create a safe space, please contact us at SDA Kinship… You are not alone.


I thank God for Chris Blake who has the courage of his convictions. And I thank God for all the parents who accept and love their children of different sexualities and learn to understand what life is like for them. Some circumstances may be easier than others, but they nearly always require growth and work. Thank God, too, that more and more people are coming to understand these things better!


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