NAD Recruits Mormon Educators to Consolidate All Adventist Academies Into Mega-school

(Spectrumbot) #1

"Only a Mormon can save us now," said North American Division Education Director, Alejandro Sanders at a crisis meeting held this week. Faced with the challenging reality of Adventist boarding academies closing across the NAD, officials have decided to combine all remaining academies into one mega-school.

"Most of us on the administrative side of Adventist secondary education have fond memories of being out put on social in one of dozens of Adventist boarding academies during the 1960s," said Sanders. "Sadly, that era of ballooning enrollment figures spread across scores of Adventist academies has come and gone."

Sanders said that as the NAD has historically focused on an overly-diversified hodgepodge portfolio of academies, leaders have had to reach out to the Latter-day Saint community for advice on consolidation best practices. "We've scarfed down our share of humble pie lately but I've finally accepted the old adage that desperate times call for embarrassing phone calls," said Sanders.

Although the NAD only reached out to Brigham Young University officials last week, a flock of Adventist educators has already toured the Provo, Utah-based campus and several LDS educational consultants have been hired to spearhead reforms at the NAD.

"We are confident that the Mormon model of consolidating educational efforts resources into one large tertiary educational institution will hold the keys to the salvation of our academies," said Sanders.

He acknowledged that questions remain about where to locate a potential Adventist über-academy school and which brand of Adventism will be dominant. Sanders added that tipping his hat to LDS educational counterparts on the consolidation best practices had been a tough pill to swallow.

"It doesn't mean they are right about anything else," said Sanders.

Sevvy is a writer at the anonymously-authored humor and satire blog

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at

(Robert Sonter) #2

What a brave initiative by (Colonel) Sanders! We have so much we can learn from our LDS brothers and sisters, and not just about consolidating our educational institutions.

However I fear there will be a massive backlash against Sanders from within Adventism, for his courageous actions. Some may even attempt to do him harm. I think he needs to hire a body guard, travel only in armored vehicles, and wear a bullet-proof vest when out in public.

I think it’s important that those of us who understand the importance of what he’s doing, start offering support. We all know that clicks, status updates and comments can really achieve physical outcomes after all.

Who will join me in posting “Je suis Sanders”?

(Sevvy) #5

Je suis nerveux pour Sanders…:slight_smile:

(le vieux) #7

These satires get cornier all the time.

Has Spectrum run out of subjects to discuss? WO has been beaten nearly to death, as has homosexuality. We’re overdue for another pro-evolution piece. Well, we’re really overdue for one that’s pro-creation, but I don’t expect to see that here.


That was hilarious Birder. Very well written. :smile:



I hear Colonel Sander’s has a new spicy recipe, called: Is there not a God in Israel to “consolidate” in…

(Rohan Charlton) #10

Oh what I wouldn’t do for a bacon and cheese zinger! Somehow the KFC in Japan isn’t quite as…‘finger lickin’ good’. Slightly weird flavor.

Those secret 11 herbs and spices… Now there’s a Secrets Unsealed presentation I’d pay money to see!!

(Thomas J Zwemer) #11

Now point with pride to the “Right Arm of the Message”. They are at the top of their form. Not a high colonic to be found. but cash flow is heady stuff. Tom T

(George Tichy) #12

Based on your recurrent dissatisfaction with Spectrum I suggest you change your name again. From Birder to Bitter.

And why don’t YOU write an article with a content that you think is appropriate?

Spectrum is not the problem. The real problem is that you appear intolerant of any ideas that you disagree with. And instead of rejoicing with the fact that there is a site where everyone can post ideas without discrimination, you keep making negative references about it.

I am not saying you should go away (as “some” people often suggest to those who disagree with them…) but you could surely be more appreciative and less bitter about Spectrum.

(Cassandra) #13

[Okay I got pwnd. Haha…good job, Sevvy! :smile: I’m not sorry, though–my points still hold, and I’m glad I said them. I think children need their parents.]

When I was out walking yesterday, I smiled at some Mormon missionaries, and we chatted a bit. They were disappointed when I wasn’t looking for a “deeper relationship with Christ,” but I did take the opportunity to tell them that I appreciate many things about their religion, including how they take care of their own (huge warehouses), and the help I’ve gotten with genealogy in Salt Lake, and that the Mormon people that I’ve known have been warm and wonderful to be around.

I have those memories too. We called it Socialbound, as in, “I’m on Socialbound.” Interesting term. Let me think about the “fond” part.

Privileged abandonment? Any parallels to SDA in the article below by a psychotherapist? We are talking about 13-year-old children, not 7-year-old children, as the article does, but does anyone think a 13-year-old is not a child?

Why boarding schools produce bad leaders

I have been doing psychotherapy with ex-boarders for 25 years and I am a former boarding-school teacher and boarder. My pioneering study of privileged abandonment always sparks controversy. (…)

It’s complex. My studies show that children survive boarding by cutting off their feelings and constructing a defensively organised self that severely limits their later lives. (…) For socially privileged children are forced into a deal not of their choosing, where a normal family-based childhood is traded for the hothousing of entitlement. Prematurely separated from home and family, from love and touch, they must speedily reinvent themselves as self-reliant pseudo-adults. (…)

Recent evidence from neuroscience experts shows what a poor training for leaderships this actually is. In short, you cannot make good decisions without emotional information (Professor Antonio Damasio); nor grow a flexible brain without good attachments (Dr Sue Gerhardt); nor interpret facial signals if your heart has had to close down (Professor Stephen Porges); nor see the big picture if your brain has been fed on a strict diet of rationality (Dr Iain McGilchrist).

I’m not sorry I went to Academy–it got me away from a negative situation, but I was a several hours train ride from home.

With a centralized academy, most of the children will be very far from home, I imagine. Travel is expensive, academy is expensive. My guess is that the children will be even more isolated from their families than I was simply because of economic pressure. I never lived at home after the age of 14.

Where did we get the idea that God doesn’t want us to raise our children to maturity, and that they need religious instruction more than they need the matrix of their own families in their developing years?

Clearly this is being done for financial reasons. Has anyone given any study to the welfare of the children?

(Elmer Cupino) #14

"They are also reluctant to open their ranks to women, who are strangers to them and unconsciously held responsible for their abandonment by their mothers. With about two-thirds of the current cabinet from such a background, the political implications of this syndrome are huge – because it’s the children inside the men running the country who are effectively in charge."

From the same article as the Guardian you supplied. I wonder how much of our present GC, Divisional leaders and WO opponents attended boarding academies and were unable to enter into rapprochement with their mothers, thus subconsciously holding all women for their sense of being abandoned and neglected. Come to think about it, “children inside the men running” the GC?" Now does it begin to make sense?


(Cassandra) #15

I’m glad you said that and not me. :smile:

But I do get uncomfortable when individuals get singled out, though.

(Allen Shepherd) #16

It seems they are not suggesting a single site, but putting all the academies under one administration, seemly to save on administration. Probably a good idea, and one could save because of the scale of the united group.

Some children thrive, others don’t do as well. My experience has been positive. But many here have a more negative one.

(Allen Shepherd) #17

Wow, the whole church lying on the couch! That seems a bit of an overreach to me.

(Cassandra) #18

Sevvy got to us both, Allen. We wins a few and we loses a few. lol

No doubt that some have more positive experiences, while others have suffered, I agree.

The point of the article, and I think it is a good point, is that when we do something contra-nature, we suffer individual and social consequences that are not always apparent on the surface. We have been damaged, and we are unconscious of the damage because it’s all we’ve ever known.

When a culture forms around that damage, it is an unconscious culture.

I’m glad the issue of taking children out of the family matrix is being addressed by social science.

(le vieux) #19

You misunderstand me, George. I’m not bitter at all. I just find it sad that on a professedly Adventist website, virtually none of the articles or blogs uphold SDA beliefs. They are mostly critical of our doctrines. I’m not intolerant of ideas with which I disagree, unless those ideas run contrary to the plain teachings of Scripture. What I am intolerant of is error which leads people away from the pillars of out faith.

As an example, why does every article (at least the ones I’ve seen since darkening the door of Spectrum) on the subject of creation/evolution, defend evolutionary theory? I know there are good apologists out there, who can defend creationism. Has Spectrum even tried to get one of them to present their views?

(le vieux) #20

Many, if not most, of of my classmates from boarding academy would beg to differ. Most are successful in their chosen fields, and a high percentage are in medicine or education (I was an exception). One invented a protective face shield for dentists.

(Elmer Cupino) #21

You would recommend “the couch” for the whole church? That’s quite an overreach alright!

Seriously, how much would be a “guesstimate?” A “few” would certainly fall under this rubric within the differential diagnoses.

(Elmer Cupino) #22

" I just find it sad that on a professedly Adventist website,…"

This “phenomenon” is commonly seen within families. Children get “critical” with their parents and vice versa, and is normal. You don’t have to look far, check your own family dynamics. What is abnormal is when rigidity sets in and children are asked to “leave” the family. You see that in Spectrum where individuals wonder why “they” stick around. The same goes where family members are shunned and disowned (muslims, amish) for religious beliefs. So what do you expect? That every step be synchronized to the music? Why can’t we just all march towards the same destination instead?

(Cassandra) #23

The article is describing highly successful, wealthy people, as I read it, Birder, but people with social deficits, nonetheless.