The Excuse of Struggle

On March 16, 2021, a lone gunman killed 8 people in a shooting spree targeting Asian-run massage parlors. Two people killed were patrons but 6 were the workers: women of Asian descent. Lots of speculation about the killer’s motives have been posited. Most see this as a clearly racism-fueled incident. Others are less willing to make this claim. They counter that just because the victims were Asian workers at an Asian-run establishment, that doesn’t mean his murderous actions were spurred on by race. After all, the killer said he killed them because of his sex addiction ... so there you have it.

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at
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this is a good point…i can just imagine how things would be if christ had said that if a man lusted after a woman, that woman needs to go into hiding…this type of thinking is probably why women wear burqas in some islamic cultures…

yes, you’re right…but the reality is that all don’t go out and shoot others to death because they’ve struggled, or are struggling…

i’ll be surprised if this atlanta shooting isn’t seen as an anti-asian hate crime in the minds of jurors, even if the prosecution decides to forego that charge…there’s just been too much anti-AAPI hate crime lately, including the latest march 29 incident in NYC against a 65 yr-old woman, by a 38 yr-old man who had killed his own mother in 2002, only to be followed by a second anti-asian incident at a Home Depot in NYC just 3 hrs later…

It would also be useful to properly understand the concept of “lusting after a women”. “Lust” does not simply mean that one notices or appreciates a woman’s beauty or sex appeal. Nor is it “lust” if a man has a perfectly normal physiological reaction to noticing such a woman. Men don’t have to feel guilty about being normal. There is no “lust” unless and until a man formulates a plan to turn their normal physiological and mental reaction into action, and begins to act on it (e.g. David lusted after Bathsheba not when he saw her and noticed her beauty, but when he formulated the plan to act on it).

Also keep in mind that “woman” in this context refers to a married woman. This is consistent with the commandment not to “covet your neighbour’s wife”. A single man having sexual thoughts about a single woman is not “lusting after a woman”. Single men and single women who are dating or seeking a life partner do not have to feel guilt or shame over sexual thoughts about their dating partner, or experiencing normal physiological sexual arousal when observing or being around attractive members of the opposite sex. In fact if an engaged couple do not have sexual attraction to each other I would suggest that perhaps the proposed marriage be rethought.


You said it brother. I do however believe single men, like me, can lust after single women. Having thoughts of sex outside of marriage, and even rape, can being considered Lust.

Hello Courtney! Thank you for the Interesting article. I think like most issues it’s got many layers. Yes, men (I’m a male btw) are 100% responsible and answerable for our actions. The Bible says that we are drawn away by the sin in us to whatever is tempting us. In other words, the object doesn’t temp us, what’s inside us is what draws us to the object.

On the other hand, some women have unfortunately allowed themselves to become objectified by so much bad behavior in society. Let me explain, when a teenage boy sees movies which objectify women, music which objectifies women, women becoming famous for having sex videos or posting the most revealing pics on Instagram etc. it feeds into the objectification of women.

What scares me most is that this is now presented as liberating to young girls. “Take control of your sexuality and go out and show your body if you want to. Be free, be bold, post naked or near naked pics, don’t let anyone tel you it’s wrong.” These are all arguments that are directed at young girls and many unfortunately listen,

Again, I cannot say this clear enough…I am responsible for how I view women. But young men are bombarded with way too many women who are willing to be portrayed as objects and so they grow up with the worst tendencies in them being fed and reinforced. Young men need to be taught to respect every woman, every one should be viewed as a whole person and not an object of lust or sex. And young ladies should also be taught to not fall for this false liberation. The Kendal jenner’s and cardi B’s (and for those from my generation the J Lo’s and Brittany Spears) should not be their examples.

It’s a vicious cycle that needs to be broken, men need to stop objectifying women. And young girls should be taught that getting attention the cheap way hurts all women…its tough but finding a solution means looking at all layers. Keep calling men out…also let’s teach young ladies that society (including some women) is actually feeding their objectification.

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Wait a minute…is there really such a thing as ‘sex addiction’ or is that just a cheap attempt to use a made-up form of mental illness as an excuse for lack of self control?

But I really did appreciate this article.

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