I think I should.
Clean break and all that.
I never thought I’d make it to 21 before Jesus returned, or the Viet Nam draft and war got me. (Neither did. All ended when I was 17.) Never had dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up. Didn’t think I would.
Now, I’m surprised to discover I’m a ‘fossil’ of an ‘old white man’ in the SDA church. High blood pressure risk, numb extremities at night in bed from knotted ‘work’ muscles that no longer relax, just pinch nearby nerves and tear. ( And just a year ago my foreman told me I worked like a 26-year-old. Now I can barely get through a 10-hour day on my feet. Whatever happened, happened fast.) 3 surgeries for skin cancer on my nose, (Wasn’t sure I was going to have one left after a 5-hour, triple-dip Moh’s last March. ) Losing my sense of balance, hearing, taste, clear sight . . . etc. In 3 years I will have outlived every Hofer male I know of. We die young. Can’t say I’m not looking forward to it. Seen enough of the same old “McD-” world everywhere I travel for work, and still too frustrated because I can’t see enough of my sweetheart wife, at home. . . and sadly, I know an even older tramp electrician from South Carolina who should have retired at home long ago, but now has to raise a 6-year-old grandson with his wife . . . all while the SDA GC still claims to be successfully in charge of finishing ‘the work’ so Jesus can come ‘soon’, after 170 too many years of tired old men and women facing decay, instead.
The SDA church is in a confused mess, and my wife and I are clearly not the answer, or it wouldn’t be, would it ? It truly scares me to see the ambivalent monster it has persistently become in the last century, and I would rather swim the cold waters in peace, alone, with my wife, than be sucked under with that broken ‘Titanic’, or fight over the last seat in a ‘lifeboat’. Neither can I buy the excuse that, 'I’ve read the end of the book . . . ’ and the SDA church wins. Even Ellen said that, ‘The promises and threatenings of God are, alike, conditional.’ If even God does not get His own way, why should the SDA church insist on getting theirs ?
So, I should really just drop anything and everything to do with current Adventism if I’m not currently willing to be an Adventist. Its time for running-out-of-time-triage. Let the younger, wiser and more educated techie generation take their best shot at it all, with me out of their firing line. Wish I hadn’t wasted the time trying to make a difference that I have already – again – and anonymity was a terrible thing to waste even a whisker of, in spite of the fact that I did. Tired of failures, too. Time to make peace with the ones in my face thus far, and get ready for the final one before I get discouraged or something worse than simply weary.
Thanks for listening, though, and carry on.
We can’t all be me.
There’s bright hope in that thought !